Looking back on 2011 what springs to mind in this eventful year? Well, it certainly has been an eventful year from all angles, both nationally, internationally, politically, socially and a host of other categories. Here are a few things that stood out for me in the past 12 months (in no specific order).

• Steve Jobs R.I.P. – a genius, a true innovator, an inspiration; a slice of madness that gave the world a pie full of greatness. Many will have their own take on “the Steve” but I’ll not hear a bad word against him. For as long as I can remember, the world of Apple and more importantly the world of Apple under Steve’s control, has been a source of wonderment and inspiration to me. Although a late adopter of Apple hardware (for financial reasons) I have now become an almost shameless whore for their products, with the exception thus far of the iPhone. I do now worry for the future of Apple without Steve. Albeit that Steve may have been one man, let history remind us of the harm and good that can be done by one man, I personally don’t think that Steve would have released iPhone 4s or at least if he did, I would have wanted it. We’ll miss you greatly Steve.
• Frank O’Sullivan – a dentist, a scholar, a gentleman and a friend. This one is entirely personal. In the latter half of this year, Waterford lost a great man, Dr O’Sullivan, dentist but known simply by most as Frank. Taken from us long before his time, Frank will be sadly missed by the many whose lives he made less painful and whom he made smile regularly, not just for dental inspection purposes.
• Hackgate – and so the Murdoch empire appeared before a special inquiry with respect to alleged hacking of phones by one of its newspapers. The absurd theatre took over the mainstream media and culminated in appropriate fashion by the youthful wife of Mr Murdoch defending her beau at millisecond reaction time, from a pie flinging malcontent in the audience of the inquiry. The actions of whom made for the most interesting press of the entire non-event in my personal opinion.
• Bye bye Fianna Fail[sic] – yes 2011 finally saw the fall of the tyrannical, pseudo-democratic empire that reigned over Ireland for so long. A regime that borrowed and borrowed so that a wall of money covered its ineptitude and so that people would turn a blind eye to such. They neglected to inform all concerned that the repayments would soon be due but not before they all had time to bugger off and take a hefty goodbye payment and cushy pension with them. My only regret is that the party hasn’t been dissolved or branded an illegal organisation.
• Queenie, Queenie whom has the balls – the first of two hugely significant state visits in the space of a month brought hope and welcome distraction to the people of Ireland. The visit of the Queen of England was yet another positive point in the rebuilding of relations between Ireland and England. Her visit to the garden of remembrance, a significance that no words would reflect appropriately enough. Following up this year with fond and respectful reference in her annual Christmas speech to the nation, hopefully the past will soon fade to the history books.
• Goodbye Osama, Hello Obama – just weeks after the U.S. finally nailed their long time prey, Osama Bin Laden, the Irish people were treated to another state visit. Of course that visit was of the American President: The one, the only, Offaly’s long lost grandson, Barack Obama. A flying visit to Ireland but one that brought hope to many and lifted the spirits of even more. Had it not been for these two visits (Obama and the Queen), the Irish news headlines would have been nothing but depressing this year. Now, however, one would be forgiven for thinking the year to be an unmitigated success in relative terms.
• John Patrick Byrne – who? Many will be forgiven for not knowing this name but I have no doubt that most will recall his actions. In July of this year, Mr Byrne selflessly jumped into the river Liffey in Dublin, to rescue his pet rabbit, which had been thrown in by despicable members of Dublin’s ever growing rabble. Mr. Byrne (homeless at the time of the incident) received worthy, high praise for his actions that secured the life of his pet rabbit Barney. I hope that both of them are doing well.
• EU Oligarchy Rumbled – yes, 2011 was the year that it all became hugely apparent, to all, that the EU is truly an oligarchical structure and not a true union of members. A few small fringe countries get into financial collapse due to monies recklessly loaned by the ECB (and even more recklessly abused by the recipient banks) and suddenly the entire EU is in collapse with fears for the future of the Euro. When the achilles heel is that easy to wound, one would really have to question the future for the EU.  What was worse was the reaction by France and Germany (the real EU). 2012 will be a very shaky year for the EU and the Euro; the Mayans may very well have predicted the end of this little fantasy world, if not the greater globe in which we live.
• English riots – yet again, just a few years short of 100 years to the day that Archbishop Ferindand was shot and much unrest began, so too did a single event (the fatal shooting of Mark Duggan by Metropolitan Police) trigger wide-scale riots across England. These riots burned parts of London to the ground, devastation not seen since a small bakery fire in 1666. Violence, looting, arson, a litany of offences to report but the most unusual item reported was that relating to the use of social media to orchestrate the riots. Everything from Facebook to Twitter to Blackberry messaging was called into question and given partial blame for the rapid spread and precise organisation of the events. While we may have reached a point in our technological evolution whereby mass groups can mobilise themselves with such ease, the question really stands as to why they cannot be controlled when they do and further more, why so many people are so ill at ease, to a point where they are ready to riot at the next Facebook update.
• Middle-East riots – anything you can do, we can do better. Not to be out-done by the riots in England during the Summer, most of the middle-East countries decided to organise their own riots on social media at the beginning of the year and overthrow governing regimes that were in place for decades. Oddly enough, most have been successful in their primary objective, even if they have caused significant, resultant issues. One thing is for sure, social media has (allegedly) changed the face of the middle-East and rioting for a long time to come.
• Can you spell Gadaffi? – Not taking from the real news that was the death of Libya’s dictator but what struck me while reading about the events in various “rags of record” was the huge variety of ways in which his name was spelled. Everything from Gadaffi to Gaddafi to Gadaffy (duck?) to Gadafy to, well feel free to make one up, everyone else seems to. Of course this brings an end to the rule of Libya’s dictator and of note is the fact that this happened by local rebels teaming up with US forces to fight against a common enemy. Now that rings a bell, local rebels and the US fighting together, when was that again? Oh yeah, 1980′s Afghanistan when the US fought beside the Taliban, against the “enemy of the month” Russians. Let’s hope that this one pans out better.
• The God Particle – otherwise referred to as the elusive Higgs boson. In December of this year, the science world was alive with anticipation from Cern that they may eventually have found the “God Particle”, the sub-atomic particle credited with possibly being one of the building blocks of the universe. So far the news is that they are unsure. Oh well nevermind, continue to plough money in. After all organised religion has been doing the same for millennia without a single glimpse of God but keeps the donations coming. Looks like science and religion have finally hit a meeting point.

I’m sure that there are many other noteworthy events of the past 12 months but for me, right now, that about wraps it up. Have a great New Year everyone!

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1) You are what you tweet – the Gillian McKeith debacle. Yes midway through the year, we were treated to a rather scrumptious story from the twittersphere. A spat had developed between nutritionist Gillian McKeith and Bad Science guy Ben Goldacre. In what can only be referred to as an alleged sequence of misdemeanours, tweets were sent that accused Ben Goldacre of telling lies. Then suddenly the twittersphere went nuts, the topic was trending and retweets were rife. Once the story hit the big time, the tweets from the Gillian McKeith entitled account disappeared (i.e. were deleted) and the world’s worst cover up was attempted including the statement that the account was not Gillian’s despite several official tweets and logos, and prior printed publications suggesting otherwise. Ladies and gentlemen – how not to use Twitter!

2) Dublin Metro despite all needs. Yes, I’ve been banging on about this for years now but it’s still as valid an argument as ever in my opinion. I was delighted earlier in the year, to see that Kevin Myers has joined my band wagon of sense by slamming the metro in one of his columns. I have great time for Kevin’s articles, his lucid and direct arguments, even if sometimes I don’t agree fully – it was a relief to know that I was not alone in my thoughts on what I consider to be one of the biggest travesties in the state. This year, Ireland is swinging from the door frame of wreck and ruin. The country has been swept with budget cuts, banks have been all but nationalised, the IMF even turned up for a friendly chat, we were dealt an austerity budget, and in the end we were forced to take a bailout loan that the country will probably never have the capacity to pay back in full. Yes, Ireland will be in the back pocket of the IMF and more worryingly, the EU, for a very long time to come. It’s never a good idea to be the littlest member of the family whose causing trouble for your bigger brothers and I believe it won’t be long before we see hard evidence of that. Anyway, I digress. Despite all of these economically horrific events the one thing that has not been cut is the Dublin Metro project. Roads around the country have been slashed, hospitals will probably be increasingly centralised (i.e. further limit access to), and other nationwide capital expenditure for local councils is being slashed too. However, Dublin still wants its metro and a two finger salute to all those who speak sense to the contrary. The whole thing has become so absurd at this stage that despite there being no money to construct the metro, the project still isn’t being taken off the table. Sheer stubbornness, ignorance and callous disregard for their fellow man. One really does have to wonder whose legacy this metro is. No project as ridiculous as this, in these austere times, would ever survive if it wasn’t to serve as a tombstone epithet for some politician.

3) Student protests and Garda violence. This was the moment that really worried me this year – the moment that democracy all but died. What was largely a peaceful, in some parts sit down, protest by the students of Ireland, turned to a brutal and characterless assault of anyone that dared not be moved. Students moving through the streets, bleeding, Gardaí caught on camera kicking and beating students with truncheons. There could be no cover up for these events, in this time. Yet again Twitter and other social networks started to buzz with photos and videos of the events as they unfolded. We still await the outcome of what will no doubt be a suffocated inquiry.

4) Attack on Prince Charle’s car. Student protests in England surrounding education fees and such, boiled over into troubles and riots. During said troubles, Prince Charles and Camilla were being driven to the London Palladium for a night of unashamed entertainment. So, what would one do? I know Jeeves, let’s drive our most opulent vehicle through the riots. That will calm the students and show them that all is fair and equal. Boom, bang, crash! What more can one say…

5) Wikileaks. Well the year wouldn’t be worth mentioning if we didn’t mention Wikileaks and the debacle surrounding it. For anyone living under a rock for the past year, Wikileaks is essentially true freedom of information sped up and nothing more. However, when civil servants and petty government officials who feel they can be less than diplomatic in their words and actions have information tied to them, released to the public without the option of redacting it, then there’s a problem. Wikileaks isn’t making up anything, it’s simply setting free information that has been gathered by elected and employed public officials, on behalf of their countries. In other words, public information that citizens elected their governments to manage and gather in the best interest of the country. However, as we can see from some of the leaks, not all that information is in best interests, indeed it would appear that a right bunch of immature, undiplomatic and untrustworthy individuals are running this globe. Founder of Wikileaks, Julian Assange is strangely finding himself at the centre of a scandal and arrest with subsequent trial at the same time the US are screaming for his head – hmm, me ponders. Amazon cancelled the hosting used by Wikileaks, PayPal froze access to the accounts used for donations to Wikileaks and apparently also froze the accounts of people who donated money to Wikileaks because the US State Department told them it was illegal. Just what kind of people do we have running this world; Where repressed news reports and public information is a reason to assassinate somebody’s character and act in an undemocratic way?

6) Horse Outside. Well, well, “Horse Outside”. The duo known as the Rubber Bandits, known for their antics on RTE’s Republic of Telly, released what can only be described as the track of the year. A controversial, possibly offensive to most societal groups, riotous composition and video to accompany it. I think it’s best to approach the new year with a smile on our faces and a happy state of mind. So, with that philosophy I salute 2010′s passing with one more play of “Horse Outside”.

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Posted via email from jbwan’s posterous

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Hello seller.
Im  james Run by name ,I came accross your contact details through web directory concerning the used car you have for sale and im highly interested in purchasing it.I will like to know all the details about the car before  proceeding with the payment…..

1. How long have you owned it?

2. Why are you selling it?

3. Last Price?

4. Any avaliable photo?

So, your swift response to these required information would be highly entertained before proceeding to the next stage. The method of payment is Cheque. Kindly email back, if it’s still forsale. Hope to hear from you asap.HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY
Regards.
James

A quick check on the headers and oh yes, it’s our sub-Saharan friends apparently or at least the IP address seems to say so. So, the poor guy took time to write to me; the least I could do was write back:

Dear James,

I am so delighted to hear from you. I showed your e-mail to my doctor and he gave me the great news that your e-mail means that I should bill you for the sum of US$ 40,000,000. Unfortunately this money can only be delivered to me by carrier pigeon, such is the international treaty on the matter. I realise that pigeons are in short supply but I believe that you have the ability to get some being a person of great resources. The bad news is that if this money does not reach me in 3 days from sub-Saharan departure I will have to assign the matter to the international authorities to reclaim this money for me. I will await the first pigeon and inform you when all monies have been received. If too much money is received then I will send the overpayment by unverifiable money transfer to your account of which I do not have the details. However, the paperwork will look impressive. Naturally I will refund too much money as I am stupid and as such I must ask that you advance me £100 to cover this stupidity.

Kindest Regards,

Dyelook Stew Pidtuya

I’m checking the sky everyday, waiting for that first pigeon…

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I’m dreaming of a tight Christmas,
With every pathetic government slight.
You may take a ferry, or flight,
And leave Ireland long out of sight.

I’m dreaming of a tight Christmas,
A Christmas when the future’s shyte.
They get a raise and you get plight,
And may all your votes next year be spite.

Merry Recession everybody!

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You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% The Flash 75% Superman 70% Hulk 60% Green Lantern 60% Iron Man 55% Wonder Woman 50% Robin 50% Catwoman 40% Batman 35% Supergirl 35%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the “Which Superhero am I?” quiz…

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